Bukan semuanya indah belaka

Not everything I write here resembles my true life.

I have my ups and downs too. Sometimes I write it down, sometimes I chose to keep it to myself. I just don’t want to regret whatever I write down. That’s all. Simple.

Life is never too simple though. Sometimes you read my “noroke” stories, and imagine those nice times I am having. When almost all of the times, I end up in tears trying to patch things up together.

Dad once told me, when your partner has a different background, different lifestyle or different education background from me, I and my partner both need double or even more adapting work to do. To understand both of the situation, to understand each other needs, priorities and characteristic.

Yesterday……….. 

I waited for him about 6 hours in hoping that he would come and see me. But, at the same time I know that there would only be little chance for him to meet me bacause of the fatigue. But I still wanted to see him, waited….hoping that a slight change of mind would give me a chance. But, alas…. he didn’t come. I came back home empty handed. I was frustrated that my fantasy didn’t become a reality. I cried all the way home. Not because I was mad at him. Because I just tasted a tiny piece of reality that may have been meant for me, so that I wake up and grow up.

Quote my senpai sms;

Me :  Kalau abg xjumpe akak mase tu… dan akak balik umah hampa… salah ke dia sedih? Salah ke kalau dia nak nagis sikit?

Senpai A: Tak salah. Hak dia. Tapi, tau tak kenapa dia nangis?

Me : Sebab dia harapkan yang lebih2?…Walhal dia tahu tipisnya peluang… dia nak juga fantasi tu jadi realiti? Salah ke?

Senpai A : Hmmm…bukan. Dia nangis sbb dia sayang giller.

Me : …..

Am I at that stage of ”sayang giller”? Maybe. But, Senpai A made me cried 2 drops of tears by reading his sms. (T.T)

Inilah padah nye main dengan cinta. Sakit badan seh…